Bone Eating Snot Flower


This is not the sort of bloom that will get you into the sack if you bestow it on a game filly I can assure you. You, being an erudite and cosmopolitan audience, will probably have guessed that from its name. The Bone Eating Snot Flower is not a flower at all but is in fact a fine example of a Zombie Worm. These worms haven’t earned their zombie monicker from their slow yet persistent shambling gait, nor for their penchant for a brain terrine, they do however like to feast on the dead.

Grrr urggh, brains

Grrr urggh, brains

‘Whale fall’ is a bit like ‘rainfall’ it just hurts more. When a whale dies it sinks to the bottom of the ocean where it provides a plethora of beasties with quite a banquet. These carcasses dot the ocean floor providing oases for the deep water creatures that live there, a bit like motorway service stations. First of the hideous grave robbers to arrive are of course automobile insurance salesmen, shortly followed by all manner of meat eaters; crabs, squat lobsters, sleeper sharks and the particularly delightful hagfish… and a hideous cocophany it is too, if you do ever get an invite i would implore you to not even send back the RSVP. Once the bones are stripped of flesh it’s time for the Zombie Worms to move in. They set roots into the bones cracking the outer casing to get at the fatty marrow beneath.

The Bone Eating Snot Flower reproduces constantly, the female keeping a harem of males inside her tubes so that her eggs can be constantly fertilized. The eggs are cast into the oceanic currents, hopefully to find another whale carcass that has been stripped down, rather like a wormy dandelion clock. A terrifyingly ghouly snotty zombie bone-eating dandelion clock.

Published in: on June 30, 2009 at 8:02 am  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. […] that faith is doomed to something unpleasant — Hell, Purgatory, Sheol, being reborn as a Bone-eating Snot Flower. Someone practicing one of those faiths would want (or even be required) to try to convert the […]

  2. This is a Polychaete Worm
    Genus: Osedax
    Humor Rating: AAA+

    “They look like flowers poking out of the whale bone. The analogy goes a bit further because they have a root system that goes into the bone,” Dr Glover, a researcher at London’s Natural History Museum, told the BBC News website.

    “The part of the animal that is exposed to the seawater is covered in a ball of mucus, so they are quite snotty. That is probably a defence mechanism.”

    Excerpt from:

  3. I have never seen anything like it. I must admit it is one of the strangest post I have come across. I wonder if there are places in the ocean where whales go to die similar to a elephant grave yard where these creatures could be found in great numbers. I was wondering what is the actual size of the animals?

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