Bone Eating Snot Flower

WE’VE MOVED HERE! COME SAY HELLO!

This is not the sort of bloom that will get you into the sack if you bestow it on a game filly I can assure you. You, being an erudite and cosmopolitan audience, will probably have guessed that from its name. The Bone Eating Snot Flower is not a flower at all but is in fact a fine example of a Zombie Worm. These worms haven’t earned their zombie monicker from their slow yet persistent shambling gait, nor for their penchant for a brain terrine, they do however like to feast on the dead.

Grrr urggh, brains

‘Whale fall’ is a bit like ‘rainfall’ it just hurts more. When a whale dies it sinks to the bottom of the ocean where it provides a plethora of beasties with quite a banquet. These carcasses dot the ocean floor providing oases for the deep water creatures that live there, a bit like motorway service stations. First of the hideous grave robbers to arrive are of course automobile insurance salesmen, shortly followed by all manner of meat eaters; crabs, squat lobsters, sleeper sharks and the particularly delightful hagfish… and a hideous cocophany it is too, if you do ever get an invite i would implore you to not even send back the RSVP. Once the bones are stripped of flesh it’s time for the Zombie Worms to move in. They set roots into the bones cracking the outer casing to get at the fatty marrow beneath.

The Bone Eating Snot Flower reproduces constantly, the female keeping a harem of males inside her tubes so that her eggs can be constantly fertilized. The eggs are cast into the oceanic currents, hopefully to find another whale carcass that has been stripped down, rather like a wormy dandelion clock. A terrifyingly ghouly snotty zombie bone-eating dandelion clock.